I feel really strongly about this Elephant (it also has a Baby Elephant along it), incase anyone has stumbled on to this blog and is worried about coping with cancer or anything actually. Can I state for the Little Blog Record:
I am not always brave, happy and accepting of all this.
Just ask Dad or A. In fact, just yesterday I had a proper sulk and a whinge because the production that I should be working on, got an amazing review (huge whoop whoops, jazz hands and confetti cannon to the HF crew) but I am not working on it because I am here, dealing with crappy cancer.
There was also last week, when I nearly lost my favourite scarf / security blanket, or the day before that when it was my hand cream – I almost lose a lot of things, so let’s just say this happens daily.
Or the really two large spots that have erupted on my face (which, Dad, has nothing to do with the chocolate I’ve been eating and everything to do with the anaesthetic I had. Fact.)
When these sorts of things happen, what inevitably runs through my mind is;
“I have cancer and now I must endure this? Why universe Why?!?”
There is something, each day that causes me to pause or stumble.
I hope I’ve dropped some clues about my lack of bravery in enough other posts.
I started PollyGosh! to write an honest account of all this, so I will be braver and write about fear and sadness, at some point. Which we can all look forward to. I shall try and remember to sign post this with as much neon as possible, for those not willing to drink during the day (sorry Dad I know you prefer the lighter posts)
>Also, there is a time delay on Little Blog of about a month and a half . To repeat, the writings of PollyGosh! are not in real, real time. I am not insane enough to try and write this fresh, fresh. With a little bit of time comes a lot more humour.
Following on from above, Baby Elephant:
The first few posts of PollyGosh! were almost step-by-step in the timeline of my life with Burt. I seem to have moved off topic, I’ll wind my way back eventually. In the long run, this will be easier, as it spares everyone the roller coaster ride and debates over treatment options…. which is what is going on in real time (yay, I love waiting for the axe to fall).
Please be reassured that I am doing well. In the grand scheme, of all things cancer, I am super lucky – another reason why I can write Little Blog.
Current Red Nail Polish: Butter London’s Chancer (like crushed Ruby Slippers)