Waiting Vol. 1

The bloomin’ Breast Care Centre don’t get in contact, they don’t write, they don’t call, it’s like they don’t, in fact, care….. The bastards (FYI I’ve actually got a huge girl crush on my breast care nurse, I’ve a huge person crush on my whole darn cancer team).

I manage to act cool for 4 days – patience is not a virtue with which I am deeply familiar, A’s skills at present hiding in our tiny apartment is testament to this – in my universe this feels like 4 years but this is the modern age and I am a modern girl woman. I ring them. Just, you know, to make sure they’ve not lost my number or the lines haven’t been down or something. Don’t worry, I’m totally cool about it, super subtle. They do know who I am, they will phone me. When they’ve got a space. 

So I go about living life.

I help pack A off on his big work tour, I’m so pleased for him. He does not leave before I’ve made him promise – I’m afraid to say there was some eye rolling here (ha! in your face A, in your face! I love you) – that no matter what, he will not come home, not even if I do have cancer. At the time I really meant it too.

I start a fantastic new project, I’m so excited about this job, I can’t tell you. I am in awe of everyone, not least because there are smart, strong, talented women as far as the eye can see – the men folk are pretty ace too. Everyone is kind, interested and as excited as I am.

There’s also my one month old niece, she’s still in the docile phase of babyhood. She doesn’t know who I am yet but the scent of her scalp is, I think, what perfection smells like. The M’s make good smelling babies.

Along the way I mention the Lump to some other close friends, everyone is supportive, everyone knows I’m going to be just fine.

I am happy or I would be if the darn BCC would call! 

Day 12 and throwing my dignity to one side (not for the first time, boom boom) I ring again. I point out that I need to give notice at work for time off and that I’m within a gnats breath of the 14 day limit. 30 minutes later they call back, I have an appointment for Friday morning, today is Wednesday. Phew.